


Alternate Route

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ed isn't sure how he feels, Happy Ending, Hurt, M/M, Slight Comfort, a different version of the docks scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9771491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: Ed feels like it has to end this way, because something inside his mind tells him this is the only way. That is until Oswald starts to tell him there's another way this can go.





	

The cold rain felt like piercing knives against their skin, Oswald though more so shook from fear than he did the pouring rain. 

Ed could feel himself disassociating, the gun in his hand felt more like a heavy weight, the rain staining his glasses caused the image of the man standing in front of him more a blur than a clear image.

‘Do it, he killed our girlfriend. He doesn’t know what love is, all of that shit he’s feeding you right now is just that. Shit.’

Oswald was talking, the both of them were talking, and it all came across as muted static to Edward. He hung onto each crack and tremor in his old friend’s voice, Oswald’s eyes were blood shot. He knew that the smaller man had gone weeks with little to no sleep, drinking himself into drunken stupors that ended with him passing out awkwardly on his couch. Ed wouldn’t know this if it weren’t for the times he would sneak back into the mansion to check up on him. He told himself he did it to see how much longer it would be until he would end all of this, but he knew that wasn’t the entire truth.

‘Kill him, kill him, and let me take over. We don’t need him, I’ve been with you since childhood. It’s about time you let me handle things here.’

Ed steadied his grip on the gun.

“Ed, are you listening to me?”

There it was, that pain in his voice. He sounded sad, scared, broken, and there was still this look in his eyes that said they could turn back now. It wasn’t too late. 

‘It’s far too late, don’t you dare think about forgiving him. He’s weighing us down.’

Ed was too wrapped up in the angry voice in his head to notice when Oswald took a careful unbalanced step towards him. To an odd almost dream like degree he took notice of the smaller man’s newfound closeness, he noticed the circles under his bright tear filled eyes. 

The gun pressed into Oswald’s stomach, the metal was uncomfortable and threatening. It didn’t matter, he needed to get through to his friend. He reached his bound hands up towards Ed, this time his friend didn’t smack his hands away. He allowed for Oswald to cup his face in his hands.

“Please, say something.” He pleaded with him, his fingers curled against Ed’s skin.

His touch was cold, fingers shaking just as badly as his voice. 

Ed pushed the gun more firmly against him, in his mind he pictured himself shooting him. He thought about the light fading from his eyes, the light and the love. Why was Oswald in love with him, why?

‘He’s stupid, he’s weak, stop falling for him.’

After everything he had done to him. He hurt him emotionally and physically, his gun was pressed against him now, and impending death hung heavy over their heads. Oswald’s hands were still on him, his body was so close that he felt the urge to hold him.

‘Don’t you fucking dare, don’t you dare fuck this up for us!’

“Help me, please.” Ed spoke at last, his voice came out as a weak tired whisper.

He felt the weight of the gun in his hand, he shivered from the cold rain that soaked his skin and his clothes. He could feel the gentle loving strokes of Oswald’s fingers against his cheeks. He didn’t know what to do, he was at an absolute cross road; he could shoot the man standing before him and throw his body into a watery grave or he could see where one was to go from here.

“Of course, anything, I’ll do anything.”

Ed closed his eyes, he let out a shuddering breath. The voice in his head was screaming, he felt a throbbing pain his skull, he wanted to turn the noise off. He wanted to make it stop, to make him stop, if he gave into his other personality then maybe things would be alright. 

He felt lips against his own, his body tensed at the sudden kiss. He could feel Oswald’s body pressed against him, his lips were quivering, but nonetheless he did his best to gently kiss the taller man.

“I love you Ed, w-we can work on this. Start over. Let’s just go home, please.”

Start over. Starting over sounded nice, but he wasn’t sure how that would work out. There were so many open wounds, he feared they couldn’t recover from this moment right here. This was the time to get a fresh start, to kill the last thing that tied him to morality and humanity. Ed feared what would happen if he didn’t shoot Oswald then he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

His lips felt warm from where the smaller man had kissed him, he craved for that sensation to return. 

“I’m scared Oswald.”

He was beyond scared. He didn’t trust himself, he didn’t trust that Oswald could change, or that they could be together. What if something happened, what if he had another black out and hurt him? He feared what he could do to him, there were people who would come after them. He knew that Barbara and her goons were back at the club waiting for him to return with a smoking gun and blood on his hands. They would surely come after them, they would have to flee Gotham and start over somewhere else.

“That’s okay, I’m scared too.” Oswald said laughing at the tension of the situation.

With shaking hands Ed slipped the gun back into its holster, he pulled his switch blade from the pocket of his jacket and took a hold of Oswald’s bound hands. With careful precision, he cut through the thick black ropes that held his wrists together.

Oswald rubbed at his sore rope burned wrists, he looked from his hands to Ed who was watching him with worried eyes.

“Now what?” Ed asked, he was completely dumbfounded.

This was not the way things were supposed to go. Oswald was supposed to be dead, Ed was supposed to be celebrating his revenge. The noise in his head was loud, he felt a tad nauseous at the volumes of it all. He did his best to keep his focus on Oswald. He didn’t look as scared or sad as he had seconds before, he looked like he was carefully working back towards a state of calm. Ed wished he could do that, he felt like a bundle of nerves, a match ready to be set ablaze. 

“Well I suggest we leave here, perhaps we should think of a safe space. A place where your business partners won’t be able to find us, I assume they will start to wonder why you aren’t back yet.” 

Ed nodded in agreement. He placed a hand against Oswald’s cheek just needing to touch him, reassure that he was very much alive. They were both alive, they were standing here with one another. 

“I meant everything that I said Oswald.”

“I know. We don’t have to discuss any of that right now, we should focus more on survival than that at the moment.”

Ed could agree to that. Once they were some place safe they could talk things over. He promised himself he would try to explain to Oswald about the voice in his head, about his other personality, his black outs and his disassociation. He would tell him about the abuse his father had dealt him, he would tell him about his mother’s drinking problem, he would tell him every single detail that perhaps he should have shared long ago. It had been a mistake keeping so much to himself, not letting Oswald in the way Oswald had let him in. 

That would change, this was a start over.


End file.
